Ever wonder what it’s like to edit a book? Your book? The one you slaved over for months, only to turn around and have to go through it all over again with a painstaking attention to detail? I’m here to tell say it turns you into Jack Nicholson.

Because if you’re like me, you start out a normal person… more or less. In your daily life, you’re well-liked. People laugh at your jokes. They invite you to shit. You never go, but you’re invited. That has to count for something, right? Okay, so maybe you’re a teeny bit anti-social. And maybe you’re not that funny. And, fine, you’re awkward around crowds, but the point is you look normal, like Jack here before the crazy happens.

socially awkward

So you sit at your desk, put all of your shit at right angles to your laptop, grab several shiny new pens, and wonder why you’ve been procrastinating editing your book. It’s probably fantastic. It’s literary genius. The shit dreams are made of. You pat yourself on the back and head forth bravely.

desk

And then you get a few chapters in and all that coffee starts to make you jittery and a little on edge. Did someone steal your post-its? Internally, you snarl at the mere thought of someone coming close to your desk.

irked

You really have to pee. But you’re in the middle of a long scene, and if you get up now, it’ll break the momentum. So you tell yourself to wait until you’re done, kidney function be damned.

Eventually, the long hours catch up to you, and you have to give in and take a nap. But even when you’re sleeping, you’re thinking about your story.

By the weekend, everyone in your life knows to leave you the fuck alone. Because you’re grumpy. And you smell. Because it’s been a few days of you planted in that chair, the one that still has the imprints of your ass cheeks in it when you get up.

When you can’t stand the smell of yourself any longer, you finally duck into the bathroom for a quick shower. While this sucks up precious time, you figure you can probably go another 48 without another one if no one gets too close. But showering means you should treat yourself for making the effort to conform to polite societal standards, so you forego a bra because that fucker is binding. Can underwire constrict blood flow? It might affect brain function, so you decide against it.

Mid-way through your work of genius, you can’t decide if this is the best thing you’ve ever written or the worst. It could be crap. Utter crap. Total shit.

Why does the pizza guy eye you with such judgment when he drops off dinner tonight? Didn’t you give him a good tip last night? Pizza guys shouldn’t judge your dinner. Cheese is dairy, and milk does the body good. Fuck off, asshole. Hand over the pizza.

Damn it. This is crap. And you suck balls, loser.

You’re crying. This is wrong. Everything. Is. All. Wrong. Why didn’t you listen to your mother and go to dental school? You could be drilling in someone’s mouth right now and battling gum disease instead of writing crappy books.

Wait a sec. This is pretty good. You like it. No, you love it. Have you ever loved anything more? No! Okay, not true. You love Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall more.

Oh my god. Your book is funny. It’s so funny, you’re going to spell it with a ph, like phunny because now it’s fucking hysterical.

Why is there shit all over your desk? Who put that there? Don’t people know you’re trying to work? You’re in such a foul mood, you even hate that cute little dog next door. Fucking dog, shut up.

Oh, you put that shit there. Because you were in a rush to get back to editing, so you just shoved those bills and that that half-eaten slice of pizza there in a rush. Really, you were being efficient. Now you can get back to your story.

Jesus, what day is it? Is today a holiday? Do you have to go back to your day job and live among sane people? Is that even possible at this point? When was the last time you changed your clothes? You’re disgusted with yourself but too tired to do anything about it. Besides, you’re achieving your editing goal, so fuck good hygiene. Finishing the book comes first.

Your loved ones poke you with a stick. They bring you coffee because they’re afraid if you stop drinking it, you will lose your shit. They’re right. Already, you can feel your eye twitching at the thought of an empty coffee mug. When you reach for it to take one more sip, pain shoots up your arm. Oh, hell. You might have scurvy from only consuming coffee and pizza all week.

After starving and forgoing human contact, you get to those two beautiful words: The end.

gangsta

Cue the rock anthem because you’re done. You dance around in your pajamas and kiss your children who are surprised to see you this month. You pet that cute dog next door when you emerge outside for the first time in days. God, he’s a cute little fucker.

i'm an asshole

You wake up the next morning and stare at your computer screen. Dear baby Jesus, you need to send this to your editor today so you can start this process all over again in a few weeks. But you can do this. You shadow box in your hell hole of an office and blast Rocky-theme music to pump yourself up. Because you are a champion. A motherfucking gangsta. *side glance to the family members who look at you like you’re crazy* After an uncomfortable silence, they pat you on the head, make one more pot of coffee and prepare to be ignored all over again.

* * *

NEWS on KISSING MADELINE and staying connected…

If you’re wondering when the hell Kissing Madeline is coming out, pencil it in your TBR for April. *high fives and ass slaps*

Want an email alert when my next release comes out? Subscribe to my newsletter. I promise never to send you stupid shit: SUBSCRIBE

For an exclusive KISSING MADELINE teaser, join my reader group. I’ll be giving away ARCS and signed copies in here soon. We sext on Wednesdays. Yes, really. —> Dearest Series Fans Facebook Group Link 

I wanted to give my readers something special this Valentine’s Day to thank you for picking up my books when I know there are a ton of great reads out there. Since I can’t snuggle you in person (I’m a great snuggler, by the way), I whipped up a giveaway to show my appreciation. I especially want to thank the girls in my Facebook group, the Dearest Series Fans. You guys get extra tackle hugs and ass slaps for being so fucking awesome. And if you’re wondering what the hell happened to KISSING MADELINE, I apologize for the delay! Look for it this April! *insert awkward twerk here*

In my giveaway, which is international, you could win one of the following:

* A signed set of books (Dearest Clementine & Finding Dandelion) – 1 winner
* An Arc of Kissing Madeline – 2 winners
* A “My Dearest” custom-made necklace – 1 winner
* Gavin’s mug (The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.) – 1 winner
* “I like big books” tote bag – 1 winner
 * A Dearest Series swag pack (signed bookmarks, magnets, chaptick, and stylus pen) – 3 winners
my dearest necklace

One person will win this custom-made necklace! *pats it gently* Click on the rafflecopter link below to see pics of all the other prizes.

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FOR GROUP HUGS:

If you want to join me for more awkward twerking, some perving on hot guys, and an ***exclusive*** KISSING MADELINE teaser, join my reader group. I’ll be giving away additional ARCS and signed copies in there soon, so check it out. —> Dearest Series Fans Facebook Group Link 

Be My Dearest Valentine GIVEAWAY link:
—> a Rafflecopter giveaway <—
Have you all read Whitney Barbetti’s HE FOUND ME yet? It’s ***FREE*** through 2/5! It’s a new adult romantic suspense about Andra, a seventeen-year-old runaway who finds love when she least expects it.
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HFM free 2
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When I was seventeen, I disappeared. I walked out the door of my apartment with a backpack and never looked back. I left the life of Cora Mitchell behind, seeking freedom from my real-life nightmare.

But my freedom came with a cost. I lived a fictitious life for the next six years, never letting anyone close enough to see underneath the façade that was Andra Walker.

I was content with my simple little life.

Until I met Julian.

And the moment I started allowing myself to open up, allowing someone to see through the superficial, was the very same moment the Monster from my past would return to find me.

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****He Found Me is the first installment in a two-part series. He Saved Me, the sequel, is available on Amazon.****
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Contact Whitney Barbetti:
Website: http://www.whitneybarbetti.com

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Giveaway for a signed HE FOUND ME paperback:
—> Rafflecopter <— 

Check out my friend Whitney Barbetti’s new release, HE SAVED ME, which is on SALE this weekend for 99 cents!

HSMebook

Title: He Saved Me

Series: He Found Me #2

Author: Whitney Barbetti

Release Date: December 18, 2014

Genre: New Adult Romance

SYNOPSIS:

Julian

I’ve come to understand that I’ll always find her. She’s my North Star, my sense of direction. In her, I’ve found my home. She tells me I saved her. But the truth is, she saved me.

But nothing good can ever last. Andra’s keeping secrets. She’s holding something back. I’m trying, desperately, to anchor her. To let me in, to let me help.

But will all my efforts end up with a ghost of a girl I love?

Andra

I’m used to disappearing. Vanishing into thin air, without a trace of who I’ve been or where I’ve gone.

But it’s so much harder to do with a broken heart and no hope for a happy ending. Sometimes the only people who can put all the pieces of us back together are the ones we least expect to. That’s what Julian did for me.

Julian found me. But now, all Six wants is to keep me locked up, away from the world, away from the Monster. I can’t live like that. It’s not living at all. Because I still have unfinished business.

And I’m going to make sure the Monster gets what’s coming to him.

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Please note: This is a continuation of He Found Me. Characters from Ten Below Zero do appear in He Saved Me. This is the final installment of Julian and Andra’s story.

The sequel is 99 cents for Release Weekend ONLY.

Buy He Saved Me

The first book, HE FOUND ME, is available on Kindle Unlimited.

Buy He Found Me

GIVEAWAYS

Instead of one Rafflecopter with one winner, Whitney Barbetti is going to be doing TOUR STOPS on December 17, 18, 19, and 20. She’ll be doing a one-hour takeover at 9 PM EST in the following Facebook groups. Join these groups and stay tuned win paperbacks, swag, and ebooks!

December 17: Barbetti’s Babes
December 18: Grayson’s Girls
December 19: Three Girls and a Book Obsession Book Club
December 20: Dearest Series Fans

Connect with Whitney Barbetti

Website | Facebook | Goodreads | Amazon | Twitter

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Indie Chicks Rock!

 

I’m so honored to be a part of this great group of indie authors. This week we’re featuring the amazing Elisabeth Grace, whose book Indiscretion is FREE on Amazon for a limited time.

#IndieChicksRock


Elisabeth Grace profile Author Elisabeth Grace

 

Welcome! I’m Elisabeth Grace, or El if you prefer, and I write New Adult Contemporary Romance and Erotic Romance.

I’d been an avid reader my entire life, but when I discovered romance novels during my first pregnancy I was hooked! Not sure if it was the hormones or the lack of a life that was headed my way once my daughter was born, but since then I’ve been devouring several romance books a week. I love nothing more than reading about some serious alpha males and a happily ever after.

Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Amazon page ~ Goodreads

Blog ~ Website ~ Newsletter

BOOKS by ELISABETH GRACE

Rumor Has It

Picture Perfect

Indiscretion Vol. 1

Indiscretion Vol. 2

Indiscretion Vol. 3

Indiscretion Vol. 4


Rumor Has It

 

Rumor Has It - Full Wrap (1280x886)

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ SMASHWORDS

All publicity is good publicity, right? Unless you’re recent college grad Ellie Wagner and an embarrassing video of you and your boyfriend goes viral. Every man in your life abandons you, but who knew a one-minute clip of your latest doomed relationship would brand you a slut, prevent you from getting your perfect job, and force you to keep doing the one thing you swore you’d never do again…live with your mother.

But staying with mom and her latest boy-toy (is this husband number four or five?) until your life turns around might not be all bad. Especially when you fall – literally – at the feet of a sexy, green-eyed stranger who offers you freedom and a life of luxury on a gold-rimmed platter.

There’s only one little problem – the man of your dreams is none other than Mason Nash, the latest hip-hop star busting up the music charts. Fame and fortune are his calling cards and he’s vying to steal the show on a new reality TV series that will catapult him into mainstream stardom. Hello spotlight.

The man behind the famous persona is perfect for Ellie in every way, but can she overcome the ugly pitfalls that come with Mason’s celebrity status? Or will she be forced to choose between the man she loves and the independent life she longs for? After all, fame and fortune aren’t always what they seem and not all publicity is good publicity…

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ SMASHWORDS


Picture Perfect

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Being the daughter of a big-city mayor, twenty-one year old Skye Summers has giant shoes to fill in her first real job out of college. With the public spotlight on her family, and her dad’s expectations running high, she jumps at the chance to work side-by-side on an important project with her sexy new boss.

Playboy entrepreneur Landon Steele has built a successful entertainment PR firm and broken more than a few hearts along the way. He’s counting on his enthusiastic new assistant to help him expand his business into LA… until he discovers she’s a pampered rich girl who’s in the public spotlight as much as his famous clients. Still, he agrees to give her a chance, and soon the two are heating up the bedroom as well as the boardroom.

But when Skye’s ex-boyfriend threatens to reveal a dangerous secret from her past, her job, relationship with Landon, and her father’s career are suddenly all on the line. Will she be forced to leave Landon? Or will she pursue her heart, regardless of the cost?

KINDLE ~ AMAZON UK ~ NOOK ~ KOBO


Indiscretion Vol 1. – 4.

Indiscretion Box Set

Indiscretion Vol. 1

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ iBOOKS

Indiscretion Vol. 2

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ iBOOKS

Indiscretion Vol. 3

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ iBOOKS

Indiscretion Vol. 4

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ iBOOKS

Indiscretion Boxed Set

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ iBOOKS ~ GOOGLE PLAY

Indiscretion.Volume One Free Banner

Indiscretion Excerpt:

“You do not need to bring that up.” Her eyes narrowed and I could tell she was pissed.

“Really?” I raised an eyebrow. “Do you react this way to every man who gives you an orgasm? Or just the ones you choose to hit and run?”

“I, what? I did not…” she stammered.

Good. I had her off-kilter. At least now I knew the feeling was mutual. “Look, it’s fine.” I shrugged and grinned, showing her I wasn’t all that bad. “Why did you take off that night?”

She looked at me, contemplating her answer. “I was embarrassed. I’ve never done anything like that before. I had a little too much to drink and let’s just say I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

I took a step closer, my gaze locking on hers. My hand moved to her face and cupped her jaw. I couldn’t resist. “Oh, I’d say you were clear enough with me about what you wanted.” I grinned and inched closer to her. The heat between us was palpable. I enjoyed making her uncomfortable. Maybe it was payback for her having left me in the dust that night.

Who am I kidding? It was the attraction that still pulsed between us, even months later, in the light of day and stone-cold sober.

Her mouth dropped open. “Please, you were the one who kissed me first!”

“True, but you were the one who straddled me like you were gearing up to ride bronco,” I said with a pretend laisse-faire tone.

Ah, there was that adorable flush in her cheeks again, when it had just started to subside.


Elisabeth Grace profileConnect with Elisabeth Grace

Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Amazon page ~ Goodreads

Blog ~ Website ~ Newsletter


Thank you for visiting the Indie Chicks Rock Spotlight feature.

Don’t forget to come back next week for another dose of Indie Chicks awesomeness!!!

GIVEAWAY

—> a Rafflecopter giveaway <—


RSOR TeaserRumor Has It

Excerpt

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ SMASHWORDS

“Ten dates. That’s my rule.”

“Come again?”

His choice of phrasing had my mind swimming in images of the two of us and I fought to keep my line of thinking straight. “I won’t sleep with a guy for at least ten dates.”

He flopped back against the stairs with a defeated look on his face and scrubbed his hands over top of his shaved head.

“I’m sorry,” I said and moved to get off him.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me back down, lifted me by the waist and twisted me around so I was sitting in between his legs. His arms came around me and squeezed me close.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I won’t lie and say I’m not disappointed though.”

“Thanks for understanding.” I was embarrassed that I’d blurted out my rule to him, but his reaction put me at ease.

“I understand but you can be sure we’ll be having all ten of those dates as soon as possible,” he said and laughed. “Clear your calendar.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a very wise man, Mason?”

“Save your praise until I figure out a way to shove ten dates into one day and you hear all the great ideas I have that involve you and I.”

“Mmm…I’m sure most of them involve us being horizontal,” I said wryly.

He nuzzled my neck and spoke low and slow into my ear. “And in the pool, against the wall, in the shower, on the kitchen counter… Stop me when you’ve heard enough.”

Wow, Mason was a dirty talker. I’d heard enough to fuel my fantasies for years. “Enough,” I said. I laughed and swung my elbow back into his gut.

We relaxed for a while, not speaking. Just enjoyed each other’s presence and the view of the moonlight reflecting off the water. It was comfortable. My nerves had evaporated entirely.

I sunk back into Mason, enjoying his warmth and felt my eyelids getting heavy. The next thing I knew Mason was nudging me gently to wake me.

“Ellie, come on. You should get home. It’s late and you’re falling asleep.”

“Okay,” I said in what I could hear was a sleep-laden voice.

“Unless you want to spend the night here. You’re welcome to but I have to be honest, if you do I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.”

It pleased me to know I had that effect on him. I wasn’t sure what that said about me but to be honest, right then, I didn’t care.

“Tempting but I should get home. I didn’t tell my mom I wouldn’t be home and even though I’m twenty-one she’d worry if I wasn’t there in the morning.”

I grabbed my shoes and walked barefoot across the deck, Mason leading me along with his hand on my lower back. He walked me to my car. When I got to the driver’s side door he pinned me to the car with his arms on either side of my shoulders.

“I had an amazing night, Ellie. The best I’ve had in years.”

Holy crap. This guy was making it super difficult for me to stick to my ten-date rule.

“I had a good time, too.”

“Let’s do it again.”

“Okay.” What else was there to say really? I wasn’t into games, which was why I was always upfront about the ten date thing. I wasn’t going to play coy or pretend I didn’t want to see him again.

He cupped his hands on either side of my face and he kissed me. It was different than the frantic kissing we’d shared on the deck. This kiss was a slow burn; the fire between us building and building until it was a raging inferno and difficult to control.

This time he pushed me back. “You’d better get out of here before I force you to stay.” He rubbed one hand over top of his head.

I nodded, got into my car and started it. He knocked on the window. I rolled it down and he passed me his phone.

“Here put your number in.”

I did as he asked and when I scrolled up to save it I noticed that instead of adding me in his phone under Ellie Wagner he’d added me as WORTH THE WAIT.

Damn. This guy was trouble.

KINDLE ~ NOOK ~ KOBO ~ SMASHWORDS

Dearest Clementine and Finding Dandelion are on SALE for 99 cents through Cyber Monday! Both are stand-alones.

abstract red background or Christmas background with bright cent

***** Thanks to The Dirty Laundry Review for these teasers! *****

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DEAREST CLEMENTINE:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1qafbVd

Nook: http://bit.ly/VUrb0R

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1tgpIAM

BrushesOverMyBody

FINDING DANDELION:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1orVFOL

Nook: http://bit.ly/1AZHKbz

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1tJ3Wo2

***I am also doing exclusive giveaways in the Dearest Series Fan Group this week, so check it out. Here’s the LINK.

My friend Jules Barnard just released TRUE BLUE, the third book in her Blue Series. I’ve loved every one of these. For a limited time, you can grab the first book for free! Scroll down to the bottom of this post for her awesome giveaway, which includes signed copies of both of my books.

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true blue teaser

“True Blue also touches on the theme of unconditional love and the fact that no matter what, family doesn’t always have to be blood relatives.” 

- The Phantom Paragrapher (http://bit.ly/1A9gFEP)


“This story of Mira and Tyler is one filled with misunderstandings, heartbreak and passionate love. I thought the characters were well defined, and the book flowed through the plotline seamlessly. A sprinkling of danger, powerful punches of lust were what held my interest throughout the book. ”  

- Deliciously Wicked Books (http://bit.ly/1ET2fH6)

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Deep Blue, The Blue Series #1 (FREE)
Kindle: http://amzn.to/1zyTFKK
Nook: http://bit.ly/1ny9gVf
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1ny9knX
iBooks: http://bit.ly/1BZ0CJe
Goodreads: http://bit.ly/1onihQH

Blue Crush, The Blue Series #2
Kindle: http://amzn.to/10XdZL3
Nook: http://bit.ly/11ixPSk
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1ucGYa5
iBooks: http://bit.ly/1sDRWjk

True Blue, The Blue Series #3
Kindle: http://amzn.to/1ETIFME
Nook: http://bit.ly/1u0j8ct
Kobo: http://bit.ly/1qbbuRO
iBooks: http://bit.ly/TrueBlueiTunes

TRUE BLUE Synopsis:true blue

Mira Frasier has worked hard to pull herself out of the darkness of her Tahoe reservation childhood, but rough beginnings shape a person in all the wrong ways. Mira gets mixed up with shady people while trying to bail out her destitute mother—and now Mira’s life is in danger.

Tyler Morgan grew up a star athlete and scholar, but a tragedy he hasn’t dealt with has him regrouping in his home town of South Lake Tahoe. The last person he expects to see is Mira, the girl he lost his virginity to in high school, and the only woman who ever took a piece of his heart. He’d rather live in a tent than do what his sister asks and stay with Mira while they figure out how to keep her safe from the men who attacked her.

To ensure Mira remains in his past where she belongs, Tyler agrees to look out for her temporarily until she’s safe enough to move out on her own. And if he has to push that process along by snooping around and figuring out what she’s hiding, he’ll do that too. Only, Mira is still beautiful, and she’s feisty as hell, and she has all his attention—just like she did six years before.

Mira is driving Tyler crazy, the tension between them off the charts while they’re trapped under the same roof. Something is going to crack. Will it be Mira’s last hold on a haunted life, or Tyler’s self-control around the one girl he’s never been able to get over?

GIVEAWAY:

2 eBook copies of Summer of Seventeen by Jane Harvey-Berrick, Author
eBook of Upside Down (Off the Map #1) by Lia Riley
Signed Print of If Only by AJ Pine-Author
2 eBook copies of Isn’t She Lovely and Broken by Lauren Layne
Signed Print of Dearest Clementine by Lex Martin (International)
Signed Print of Finding Dandelion by Lex Martin (International)
Winner’s Choice: Any eBook from Amy Patrick’s 20 Something Series
Sizzling Seven Box Set of 7 NA Contemporary Romances from Brenna Aubrey
Print copy of He Found Me by Whitney Barbetti (International)

—> ENTER GIVEAWAY <—